News Satire and anything but the news

BREAKING NEWS: Our reporter discovers the truth about a major Anomaly on our Planet

According to Wikipedia, The South Atlantic Anomaly (SAA) is an area where Earth's inner Van Allen radiation belt comes closest to Earth's surface, dipping down to an altitude of 120 miles. This leads to an increased flux of energetic particles in this region and exposes orbiting satellites (including the ISS) to higher-than-usual levels of ionizing radiation.

The real story

In a shocking development, our reporter Sally O'Malley, although she is still missing, has remotely presented our editorial team with what may be the most astonishing evidence in modern history—the existence of alien-built megacities hidden deep beneath South America and beneath the Atlantic Ocean.

According to Sally's reports, these cities are carved into vast underground caverns and oceanic trenches embedded deep within the Earth's crust. They are constructed from mysterious, unearthly materials — substances not found anywhere on Earth. These unknown materials appear to interact with Earth's natural radiation fields, though the real disturbance seems to come from the alien force fields protecting the cities.

"These force fields are unlike anything we've ever seen," Sally writes in her latest transmission.“They cloak entire cities from human detection and the force fields are causing strange anomalies in Earth's natural systems. One theory I’m exploring is whether they’re affecting the Van Allen radiation belts—but I can’t say that with certainty yet.” "It's no wonder scientists have been puzzled by these irregularities for decades.

Even more astonishing, Sally appears to have been granted limited freedom by her alien hosts. She has sent back photographic evidence of these cities and claims to have walked among the alien inhabitants in the underground caverns and the submerged cities deep in the Atlantic. "I don't think they mean us harm," Sally reports. "But whatever they're building down here... it's massive. And it's not meant to stay hidden forever." We are currently analyzing the data and images she has provided. Stay tuned as this incredible story continues to unfold. Earth may be home to more than we ever imagined.

After seeing through Zorax’s faulty cloaking device and sparking an unlikely friendship, reporter Sally O’Malley has now become the first ambassador to tour an alien megacity beneath the Andes. Disguised, of course, appearing as though she is one of the aliens. “Zorax gave me a temporary cloaking patch. I looked like a mildly important bureaucrat with bioluminescent eyebrows,” Sally explained.

Sally O'Malley has presented our editorial team with what may be the most astonishing evidence in modern history—the existence of alien-built megacities hidden deep beneath South America and beneath the Atlantic Ocean.

According to Sally's reports, these cities are carved into vast underground caverns and oceanic trenches embedded deep within the Earth's crust. They are constructed from mysterious, unearthly materials—substances not found anywhere on Earth. These unknown materials appear to interact with Earth's natural radiation fields, though the real disturbance seems to come from the alien force fields protecting the cities.

"These force fields are unlike anything we've ever seen," Sally writes in her latest transmission. "They cloak entire cities from human detection and cause measurable interference with the Van Allen radiation belts. It's no wonder scientists have been puzzled by these irregularities for decades."

Even more astonishing, Sally appears to have been granted limited freedom by her alien hosts. She has sent back photographic evidence of these cities and claims to have walked among the alien inhabitants in the underground caverns and the submerged cities deep in the Atlantic.

"I don't think they mean us harm," Sally reports. "But whatever they're building down here... it's massive. And it's not meant to stay hidden forever."

We are currently analyzing the data and images she has provided. Stay tuned as this incredible story continues to unfold. Earth may be home to more than we ever imagined.

Sally O’Malley, still cloaked in her alien disguise, accompanied Zorax on a diplomatic visit to the submerged metropolis of Neptara-9, located beneath the Atlantic’s most uncharted trench.

“My cloak adapted for underwater life,” Sally wrote. “I had fins, gills, and a surprising craving for plankton noodles.”

According to Sally's reports, these cities are carved into vast underground caverns and oceanic trenches embedded deep within the Earth's crust. They are constructed from mysterious, unearthly materials—substances not found anywhere on Earth. These unknown materials appear to interact with Earth's natural radiation fields, though the real disturbance seems to come from the alien force fields protecting the cities.

Neptara-9 is enclosed in a shimmering bio-dome made from living algae. Zorax introduced Sally to the city’s AI-guided council, who communicate via hydrostatic pressure bursts and interpretive eel dances.

“The city is peaceful,” said Sally. But when someone sneezes, it causes a 2-minute city-wide tidal wave, so there's a lot of polite apologizing.”

She attended a festival where glowing fish spelled out poetry and left with a souvenir she calls “some sort of singing coral that won’t stop judging me.

Zorax reportedly whispered, “This is the future of diplomacy, Sally. Camouflage and curiosity.”

While visiting the deep ocean city of Neptara-0 with her alien guide and friend Zorax, reporter Sally O’Malley got an up-close look at the city’s bizarre yet efficient transportation system.

“They call them gravity-gliders,” Sally explained. “They're like smooth stones levitating on sound waves, guided by glowing threads that shimmer in the air.”

The gliders don’t follow tracks or roads. Instead, they float silently through space, shifting direction effortlessly—guided by the passengers’ intent. But the most awe-inspiring moment came when a glider approached the edge of the city's containment bubble. “I thought we were going to crash into it,” Sally admitted. “But just before impact, the field parted like mist, folding around the glider without a sound. The light bent, the air tasted electric, and I swear for a second, my thoughts weren’t my own.” Zorax explained that the field only recognizes cloaked signatures or “bonded biometrics,” preventing any unauthorized entry. “It’s less of a wall and more of a polite bouncer with quantum boundaries,” Sally noted.