News Satire and anything but the news
An extraterrestrial Alien discovered at Pelican beach
Our reporter's walk along Pelican Beach will challenge the very boundaries of your imagination.
Driving along Pelican Point, our reporter, "Sally O'Malley," is awestruck by a sunset developing over the horizon. She decides to park and walk along the beach to enjoy a beautiful sunset. As Sally nears the beach, she notices a man sitting at a portable desk in the distance. The sight of a man working at his desk on the beach is so unusual that it piques her curiosity. She must talk to this guy!
She approaches the desk, which initially appears to be a solitary man engrossed in his work, then becomes an unnatural scene that changes with each step closer to the beach. The man, or so it seemed from a distance, is enveloped in a faint aura. This shimmering bubble blurs the lines between reality and a dreamlike wave of illusion. With a mixture of caution and curiosity, Sally breaches the perimeter of the bubble, and the figure's human guise dissolves to reveal its true form, a space alien from a distant world. The creature's skin glows with a soft light, its eyes vast and filled with the wisdom of the cosmos.
The alien greets our reporter, engaging in pleasantries as if such encounters are a regular occurrence. He introduces himself as Zorax, a scientist, and continues with the small talk. Sally manages to maintain her composure, despite the shock and intrigue she feels, and plays along with the charade of conversing with an alien as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She is bursting with questions, but for some reason, Sally's first question is about why he is working at a desk on the beach.
Zorax responds with a story about performing research for the Audubon Society and that he's watching for a rare bird at this particular beach. While waiting to see if the bird would appear, the alien explains that he needs to catch up on his work.
Sally is shocked by the feeble nature of the story, especially why anyone from the Autobon society would be interested in birds at this particular beach. Sally continues with the charade; our reporter asks about the sophisticated device perched on the beach beside them. Zorax pauses in silence. The alien realizes the cloaking device is not working because the earthling should not be able to see the device. So Zorax decides to inform the earthling of the reality of why he is on the beach. Zorax explains to Sally about he is a weather architect and his task to create perfect atmospheric conditions for a vacationing group of extraterrestrial beings from outer space who are currently visiting Earth. Zorax's explanation is so fascinating that it leaves Sally in awe. Zorax begins demonstrating the device's ability, the sky danced at its command, showcasing a variety of meteorological phenomena from a gentle breeze to rain showers, all while maintaining the beautiful backdrop of the setting sun.
Story contintues @ "Space Alien at a Caribbean Tiki Bar"
Breaking News: Sally O'Malley Vanishes
Reporter: Samuel S. Silverton, Editor-in-Chief
🚀 Young Reporter Sally O'Malley Vanishes After Bizarre Alien Encounter on Pelican Point Beach
In a twist straight out of a sci-fi encounter, a promising young journalist, Sally O'Malley, has disappeared following an extraordinary encounter on Pelican Point Beach. Last seen marveling at a sunset and investigating a man working at a desk on the beach, Sally's unexpected vanishing act has left the newsroom buzzing with a blend of bewilderment, and speculation.
🛸 The Disappearance
Sally called into our editor and told us the stories about the alien encounter. During Sally's phone call to her editor, Mr. Jenkins, she was abruptly cut off. Her last words—"You won't believe this!"—were followed by an eerie silence and a faint, otherworldly hum. Her phone, camera, and notebook were later found on the sand, but Sally had vanished without a trace.
The newsroom is now a hotbed of speculation. Some believe Sally has been abducted by aliens, while others suspect an elaborate publicity stunt. Her colleagues have started a betting pool on her whereabouts, with theories ranging from "hidden beach resort" to "secret alien enclave."
"Sally always wanted to make headlines," said her friend and fellow reporter, Timmy Tompkins. "But I never thought she'd go this far. If this is a stunt, it's her best one yet."
👽 The Investigation
Local authorities, though bemused, are taking the case seriously. Sheriff Buford T. Justice has launched a full investigation, admitting it's the strangest case he's ever encountered.
"We're keeping an open mind," Sheriff Justice said with a wink. "After all, truth can be stranger than fiction."
🌍 A Message from Beyond
Adding to the mystery, the newsroom received a cryptic email, allegedly from Sally. Filled with emojis and enigmatic messages, it ended with: "Reporting live from the mothership! Stay tuned, folks!"
Whether it's a genuine message or another prank, one thing is certain: Sally O'Malley's disappearance has left everyone eagerly awaiting the next installment of this intergalactic mystery.
Disclaimer
The stories included in this paper are reports from Sally O'Malley." Sally phoned our editor and reported this story last night, and was promised to come into the office to draft the story. However, she went missing soon after her call to our editor. Our editor chose to publish the incredible stories she reported over the phone. We are also publishing the images we found on her phone left behind at the beach. We have not validated her stories because Sally went missing sometime last night after her call. She never came into the office to write up the draft stories, and that has never happened in her career.
All stories, names, people, images, and videos are satire in this satirical news website and do not represent anyone who lives or ever lived on this green earth!
Another planet, well, that's another story. 👽