News Satire and anything but the news
An extraterrestrial Alien discovered at Pelican beach
Our reporter's walk along Pelican beach will challenge the very boundaries of your imagination.
Driving along Pelican Point, our reporter, "Sally O'Malley" was awestruck by a sunset developing over the horizon. She decided to park and walk along the beach to enjoy a beautiful sunset. As Sally neared the beach, she noticed a man sitting at a portable desk in the distance. Curiosity got the best of her because: A man working at his desk on the beach, is a strange sight ! She just had to talk with this guy!
She approached the desk, what initially appeared to be a solitary man engrossed in his work became an unnatural scene that changed with each step closer to the beach. The man, or so it seemed from a distance, was enveloped in a faint aura. This shimmering bubble blurred the lines between reality and a dreamlike wave of illusion. With a mixture of caution and curiosity, Sally breached the perimeter of the bubble, and the figure's human guise dissolved to reveal its true form, a space alien, from a distant world. The creature's skin glowed with a soft light, its eyes vast and filled with the wisdom of the cosmos.
The alien greeted our reporter, engaging in pleasantries as if encounters of this kind were ordinary. The alien introduced itself as Zorax, a scientist, and continued with other pleasantries. Our reporter had the presence of mind to understand that the alien believed the cloak was still working. Shocked and intrigued, our reporter embraced the charade of conversing normally with an alien. She could have asked a million different questions. Still, for some reason, our reporter simply asked why he was working at a desk at this beach.
Zorax responds with a story about performing research for the Audubon Society and that he's watching for a rare bird at this particular beach. While waiting to see if the bird would appear, the alien professed the need to catch up on his work while enjoying the beach.
Stupified by such a fantastical story that Zorax supposedly works with the Autobon society. Salley continued with the charade; our reporter asked about the sophisticated device perched on the beach beside them. Zorax paused in silence. The alien must have realized the cloaking device was not working because the earthling should not be able to see the device. So Zorax decided to inform the earthling the reality of why he is on the beach. The alien creature began telling Sally about his role as a weather architect and his task to create perfect atmospheric conditions for a vacationing group of extraterrestrial beings from outer space who are currently visiting Earth. Zorax explains that Earth, with its diverse climates and natural beauty, is a sought-after destination for interstellar tourists. His equipment, an advanced technological ensemble capable of fine-tuning weather patterns, creates a vast array of environments tailored to an alien visitors' preferences. Zorax begins demonstrating the devices ability, the sky danced at its command, showcasing an array of meteorological phenomena from a gentle breeze to rain showers, all while maintaining the beautiful backdrop of the setting sun.
Story contintues @ "Space Alien at a Carribbean Tiki Bar"
Breaking News: Sally O'Malley Vanishes
Reporter: Samuel S. Silverton, Editor-in-Chief
🚀 Young Reporter Sally O'Malley Vanishes After Bizarre Alien Encounter on Pelican Point Beach
In a twist straight out of a sci-fi encounter, a promising young journalist, Sally O'Malley, has disappeared following an extraordinary encounter on Pelican Point Beach. Last seen marveling at a sunset and investigating a man working at a desk on the beach, Sally's unexpected vanishing act has left the newsroom buzzing with a blend of bewilderment, and speculation.
🛸 The Disappearance
Sally called into our editor and told us the stories about the alien encounter. During Sally's phone call to her editor, Mr. Jenkins, she was abruptly cut off. Her last words—"You won't believe this!"—were followed by an eerie silence and a faint, otherworldly hum. Her phone, camera, and notebook were later found on the sand, but Sally had vanished without a trace.
The newsroom is now a hotbed of speculation. Some believe Sally has been abducted by aliens, while others suspect an elaborate publicity stunt. Her colleagues have started a betting pool on her whereabouts, with theories ranging from "hidden beach resort" to "secret alien enclave."
"Sally always wanted to make headlines," said her friend and fellow reporter, Timmy Tompkins. "But I never thought she'd go this far. If this is a stunt, it's her best one yet."
👽 The Investigation
Local authorities, though bemused, are taking the case seriously. Sheriff Buford T. Justice has launched a full investigation, admitting it's the strangest case he's ever encountered.
"We're keeping an open mind," Sheriff Justice said with a wink. "After all, truth can be stranger than fiction."
🌍 A Message from Beyond
Adding to the mystery, the newsroom received a cryptic email, allegedly from Sally. Filled with emojis and enigmatic messages, it ended with: "Reporting live from the mothership! Stay tuned, folks!"
Whether it's a genuine message or another prank, one thing is certain: Sally O'Malley's disappearance has left everyone eagerly awaiting the next installment of this intergalactic mystery.
Disclaimer
The stories included in this paper are reports from Sally O'Malley." Sally phoned our editor and reported this story last night, and was promised to come into the office to draft the story. However, she went missing soon after her call to our editor. Our editor chose to publish the incredible stories she reported over the phone. We are also publishing the images she sent us after her call. We have not validated her stories because Sally went missing sometime last night after her call. She never came into the office to write up the draft stories, and that has never happened in her career.
All stories, names, people, images, and videos are satire in this satirical news website and do not represent anyone who lives or ever lived on this green earth!
Another planet, well, that's another story. 👽