News Satire and anything but the news
Zorax reveals another alien
With another touch on the device, the ethereal viewport changed to another view. Zorax invites our reporter to witness a seemingly ordinary scene of a lady walking on the beach. Initially, a young lady appears human, casually enjoying a sunny beach day. The mood is calm, with the sound of waves and seagulls.
Once more, Zorax alters the scene dramatically. An aura temporarily obscures the scene, and then we see the alien. Her luminescent green skin glows with hues not native to Earth, featuring large, bulging black eyes that mesmerize anyone who approaches the lovely lady, or rather, the alien.
"This scene," Zorax explains, "is another view to demonstrate our compatibility with everyone in this world. Our technology adjusts the weather, allowing a different experience for everyone in the vicinity, both alien and human." "We have been visiting your planet since your first moon shot. Zorax, with a reflective tone, divulged further that their visits to Earth were not a recent development. "Our civilization first became intrigued with your planet during humanity's historic moon landing," he explained. "That monumental event prompted us to explore what lay beyond your lunar neighbor. Upon discovering Earth, we were captivated by its vibrant life and diverse environments—from your lush rainforests and expansive deserts to the deep blues of your oceans." He paused, his eyes reflecting the colorful hues of the sky. "It wasn't long before Earth became a jewel in the crown of cosmic wonders, a destination for those among us seeking beauty and tranquility. Your planet's rich tapestry of cultures and natural landscapes offers a unique allure, drawing visitors across the galaxies."
Story contintues @ "Aliens from Outer Space are changing our Plan"
Cosmic Rover XL
The only rover approved for warp-speed joyrides across Zoglafar dunes.
Key Features
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🚀 Fueled by Stardust, Bound by No Limits:
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🗺️ Galactic AutoPilot with Voice Activation:
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🎬 Cinematic Quantum Projection Theater:
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Powered by localized quantum dimensional expansion, the cabin temporarily exists in a pocket universe, giving you stadium seating, velvet gravity chairs, and a panoramic screen wider than the laws of physics using spacial distortion..
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🔊The sound system
It doesn't just play audio, it injects it into your neural pathways using tachyon-tuned frequencies. Whether you're watching a Martian opera or the latest Earth blockbuster, you'll hear it in glorious omni-sensory surround sound even in languages you've never evolved to understand.
🌀 Wormhole-Ready Infotainment System
The 128-inch wraparound neuro-responsive dashboard responds to your thoughts. Just think of a song, a star system, or your favorite moon base diner and it's there. Fully compatible with Siri, Alexa, HAL9000, and intergalactic Bluetooth.
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Utilizing hydrophobic inertial dampeners and a trio of Gravi-Core crystals, the Cosmic Rover XL can hover just above the surface, moving effortlessly like a luxury hovercraft without creating so much as a ripple.
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Teleportation feature coming in 2029. Alien co-pilot not included.